It’s finally happened! Malta has become a normal country. Thank you, COVID-19!
Text and collage by the IotL Magazine Staff Reporter
Speaking at the press conference this morning, PN leader Adrian Delia praised COVID-19 for finally making Malta a normal country. “This virus is a blessing”, he uttered excitedly. “The Maltese are learning to queue in an orderly fashion. Can you believe it?”
Replying to a question on what he thought about the virus’ anti-racist tendencies of infecting foreigners and locals alike, Delia somberly remarked that “unfortunately, nothing is perfect”. “COVID-19 may be infecting everyone equally, but I believe it should consider Maltese as its best hosts.”
“COVID-19 may be infecting everyone equally, but I believe it should consider Maltese as its best hosts.” Adrian Delia
Former opposition leader Simon Busuttil, too, spoke warmly about the effect of the pandemic on the Maltese. “I must admit that the virus has achieved more than all of the EU efforts combined—the Maltese are finally beginning to act like civilised Europeans. They no longer cough and sneeze in each other’s face and even wash their hands more than once a day! I could never have imagined that the virus would succeed in what I failed—restore Malta’s reputation!”
As a brand ambassador of Coronavirus in Malta, former Prime Minister Joseph Muscat dismissed the statements of his opponents as lies. “Once again, #Malta is the envy of #Europe”, he tweeted. “The WHO recognised Malta as a model country. Truly, a model country and not a mafia state! This is a special moment for our national pride. Delighted to see that my efforts have paid off!”
“This is a special moment for our national pride. Delighted to see that my efforts have paid off!” Joseph Muscat
In a brief interview on One TV, Prime Minister Robert Abela seemed a little embarrassed to admit that Chris Fearne might have been a more fitting candidate for Prime Minister, although refuting allegations of deep rifts within the Labour party. “Coronavirus made us even more united”, he said. “The economy remains our priority—we should be ready to make sacrifices. We should be willing to die, if it means more economic growth! This is a moment of national unity—all for Malta!”
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