Quiz: Which Party Would Represent You if PL/PN Were Abducted by Aliens?

Just imagine!..

by Raisa Galea

Image: Pixabay, modified

Just imagine: One fine morning you wake up to the news of an unexpected late night visit of an extraterrestrial mission which had abducted ALL politicians from both major political parties. What a shocking loss! “No, wait”, you tell yourself once the initial shock is over, “that’s the best thing that happened to Malta since St. Paul’s shipwreck”.

You are enviously picturing how freely the former officials (and un-officials) are speeding through the Universe towards Kepler-442b while you are stuck in traffic on your way to work. You stare at the sky once more before another question hits your mind like an asteroid: “Who on Earth am I going to vote for?!” Do not panic! Well, although this sudden and refreshing anarchy is nothing to be worried about, you’d better make up your mind on where your interests belong.

The political vacuum left by this event will soon be filled by new parties. Can’t decide which one stands for what you believe in? Here is a quiz: choose the options with which you agree most and find out which newly established party would represent you best.

Social hierarchy is

necessary: some people are clearly worth more than others because they are born that way. Titles and degrees help to distinguish the capable from the rest.

justified: some people are clearly more capable than others. I hold entrepreneurial skills and creativity in particularly high regard.

unfair. Everyone’s input is equally valuable. Personal altruism is as high on my scale as creative and technical skills.

never justified. A fair society should have no distinctive social classes.

People of which occupations do you value most?

Thinkers are worth more than manual workers. Manual work is for plebs.

The job of an artist or a scientist is more important than that of a farmer or a cleaner because the former are responsible for progress. Innovations lead us to the brighter future; mundane and non-creative work does not count.

Everyone deserves equal respect for his contribution to the society. A farmer, an artist, a manual worker and a lecturer are all valuable.

Material needs come first. Contributions of a manual worker and a farmer are more crucial than those of an artist and a writer unless their art is devoted to mass empowerment.

Pick a statement you agree most with

Intelligence and propriety can never be evil. It is a duty of the educated, well-mannered and sophisticated to rule over those who are none of that.

Personal ambitions should be encouraged. Talents should be rewarded by a higher income and a higher social status.

Personal success is a fallacy – nobody becomes successful on his own. Individual success can never be possible without the help from other members of society.

Personal ambitions need to be in sync with common good and social justice. Individual advancement is egocentric and unethical.

Pick a statement that matches your views on success and opportunity best

People do not change: a person born into an uneducated family will always be driven by inferior concerns unless reading comes to the rescue.

A person is what he makes of himself. Take risks, compete, build yourself, climb up and the world is yours!

The more prosperous ones need to help less fortunate individuals. Equal opportunities must be provided to everyone.

Collective effort and cooperation is the key to a better society. Collective success is more important than the individual one. From each – according to his ability to each – according to his need.

What is your view on the role of government?

Government's main responsibility is to discipline the people. Plebs should never be let into power because they ruin everything.

Government is there for the mob. Creative mind is the main asset of the country and non-conformism is part of their nature. They should always be free to create.

Government's main responsibility is to ensure welfare and prosperity of citizens.

The government is an administrative tool to redistribute wealth and to sustain egalitarianism. Good enough is enough.

The party you'd vote for is the one that promises to

Stand for propriety, morality, preservation of national identity and eradicating corruption

Uphold the rule of law, create favorable conditions for businesses to thrive

Ensure equal opportunity, sustain a welfare safety net and ensure social security

Eradicate poverty, ensure social equality and mass participation, and reform economy according to ethical principles

Quiz: Which Party Would Represent You?

You approve of social ladder but you dislike climbers. The party that represents your views is the Patrician Party

Party slogan: Save Malta from savages! PP's agenda is short but effective. They will 1) introduce tax cuts for the top income bracket; 2) build a few camps in the south of Malta for migrants and force them to work with no pay; 3) ban pastizzi and tasteless clothes to halt the influence of the common and crude; 4) attract established and respectable foreign companies to Malta; 5) enforce discipline with the help of the army. The Patrician Party envisions Malta as a sleek sophisticated country which is attractive to the most distinguished people in the world: green lawns, best architecture, golf courses and high culture. They will plant a few trees to keep high net-worth residents happy in Malta. The party's spokespersons talk a lot about making Malta great again. N.B. Does the content of this magazine make you cringe? Good! You disgust us!

You approve of social ladder and you disdain those who fail to climb up. The party that represents your views is the Liberal Party

Party slogan: Creative mind for modern Malta! MLP states that the absence of the PL&PN has opened the door towards true meritocracy and upholding the rule of law. The party's key promises are 1) to stand for the free market economy with maximum transparency; 2) improve Malta's reputation internationally to enhance business climate; 3) not to sell Maltese passports to Russians, Chinese and Saudis any longer so that more passports could be purchased by post-Brexit Brits; 5) to lower the income tax for businesses to help them grow; 6) ensure that privatisation of state assets is done smoothly and without major scandals; 7) attract more iGaming and blockchain companies to Malta; 8) promote personal responsibility and ambition. The MLP envisions Malta as a country governed by ambitious, entrepreneurial and creative people - an innovation hub of the Mediterranean. It will plant or uproot trees depending on profitability of each option. N.B. Do you wonder why this web magazine is ad-free? 'Cause we believe that principles are worth more than profit - you might struggle to grasp that.

You think that social ladder is a bad idea but you do not blame climbers. The party that represents your views is the Social Democratic Party

Slogan: For better, greener Malta! The MSDP will 1) increase minimum wage; 2) abolish IIP; 3) introduce high VAT on luxury goods; 4) introduce rent regulation and additional taxation for buyers of 3rd and 4th residential properties; 5) ensure decent work conditions for local and foreign workers; 6) guarantee asylum to asylum seekers; 7) ensure gender equality and minority rights; 8) increase tax for investors; oblige top earners and all the local companies to publicly declare their revenues and bank statements; 9) create public green spaces; 10) invest in solar energy. The party envisions Malta as a sustainable tourist destination with advanced environmental policies and robust welfare. N.B. You're a nice fella. Join us!

You think that social ladder is a bad idea – everybody should be equal in opportunities and results. The party that represents your views is the Socialist Party

Slogan: Together for a socially just and egalitarian Malta! The MSP will 1) increase minimum wage; 2) nationalise large construction companies with minimum compensation; 3) put an end to IIP; 4) promote small-scale cooperatives in the tourist sector; 5) tackle inequality in education by dismantling private and church schools; encourage education among children from low-income families; 6) introduce rent regulation, high taxation for owners of luxury and multiple properties; 7) support local food producers; propose to establish pastizzi-baking cooperatives to export pastizzi abroad; 8) reduce working hours; 9) grant women control over their bodies by legalising abortion; 10) ensure decent work conditions for local and foreign workers; 11) guarantee asylum to asylum seekers; 12) introduce additional tax for car owners and invest in public transport; 13) create green public spaces; 14) invest in solar energy. The party envision Malta having an advanced public sector, robust welfare, sustainable tourism. N.B. You are the one we're looking for! Join us!