Just imagine!..
by Raisa Galea
Image: Pixabay, modified
Just imagine: One fine morning you wake up to the news of an unexpected late night visit of an extraterrestrial mission which had abducted ALL politicians from both major political parties. What a shocking loss! “No, wait”, you tell yourself once the initial shock is over, “that’s the best thing that happened to Malta since St. Paul’s shipwreck”.
You are enviously picturing how freely the former officials (and un-officials) are speeding through the Universe towards Kepler-442b while you are stuck in traffic on your way to work. You stare at the sky once more before another question hits your mind like an asteroid: “Who on Earth am I going to vote for?!” Do not panic! Well, although this sudden and refreshing anarchy is nothing to be worried about, you’d better make up your mind on where your interests belong.
The political vacuum left by this event will soon be filled by new parties. Can’t decide which one stands for what you believe in? Here is a quiz: choose the options with which you agree most and find out which newly established party would represent you best.
Social hierarchy is
People of which occupations do you value most?
Pick a statement you agree most with
Pick a statement that matches your views on success and opportunity best
What is your view on the role of government?
The party you'd vote for is the one that promises to
Quiz: Which Party Would Represent You?
You approve of social ladder but you dislike climbers. The party that represents your views is the Patrician Party
Party slogan: Save Malta from savages! PP's agenda is short but effective. They will 1) introduce tax cuts for the top income bracket; 2) build a few camps in the south of Malta for migrants and force them to work with no pay; 3) ban pastizzi and tasteless clothes to halt the influence of the common and crude; 4) attract established and respectable foreign companies to Malta; 5) enforce discipline with the help of the army. The Patrician Party envisions Malta as a sleek sophisticated country which is attractive to the most distinguished people in the world: green lawns, best architecture, golf courses and high culture. They will plant a few trees to keep high net-worth residents happy in Malta. The party's spokespersons talk a lot about making Malta great again. N.B. Does the content of this magazine make you cringe? Good! You disgust us!
You approve of social ladder and you disdain those who fail to climb up. The party that represents your views is the Liberal Party
Party slogan: Creative mind for modern Malta! MLP states that the absence of the PL&PN has opened the door towards true meritocracy and upholding the rule of law. The party's key promises are 1) to stand for the free market economy with maximum transparency; 2) improve Malta's reputation internationally to enhance business climate; 3) not to sell Maltese passports to Russians, Chinese and Saudis any longer so that more passports could be purchased by post-Brexit Brits; 5) to lower the income tax for businesses to help them grow; 6) ensure that privatisation of state assets is done smoothly and without major scandals; 7) attract more iGaming and blockchain companies to Malta; 8) promote personal responsibility and ambition. The MLP envisions Malta as a country governed by ambitious, entrepreneurial and creative people - an innovation hub of the Mediterranean. It will plant or uproot trees depending on profitability of each option. N.B. Do you wonder why this web magazine is ad-free? 'Cause we believe that principles are worth more than profit - you might struggle to grasp that.
You think that social ladder is a bad idea but you do not blame climbers. The party that represents your views is the Social Democratic Party
Slogan: For better, greener Malta! The MSDP will 1) increase minimum wage; 2) abolish IIP; 3) introduce high VAT on luxury goods; 4) introduce rent regulation and additional taxation for buyers of 3rd and 4th residential properties; 5) ensure decent work conditions for local and foreign workers; 6) guarantee asylum to asylum seekers; 7) ensure gender equality and minority rights; 8) increase tax for investors; oblige top earners and all the local companies to publicly declare their revenues and bank statements; 9) create public green spaces; 10) invest in solar energy. The party envisions Malta as a sustainable tourist destination with advanced environmental policies and robust welfare. N.B. You're a nice fella. Join us!
You think that social ladder is a bad idea – everybody should be equal in opportunities and results. The party that represents your views is the Socialist Party
Slogan: Together for a socially just and egalitarian Malta! The MSP will 1) increase minimum wage; 2) nationalise large construction companies with minimum compensation; 3) put an end to IIP; 4) promote small-scale cooperatives in the tourist sector; 5) tackle inequality in education by dismantling private and church schools; encourage education among children from low-income families; 6) introduce rent regulation, high taxation for owners of luxury and multiple properties; 7) support local food producers; propose to establish pastizzi-baking cooperatives to export pastizzi abroad; 8) reduce working hours; 9) grant women control over their bodies by legalising abortion; 10) ensure decent work conditions for local and foreign workers; 11) guarantee asylum to asylum seekers; 12) introduce additional tax for car owners and invest in public transport; 13) create green public spaces; 14) invest in solar energy. The party envision Malta having an advanced public sector, robust welfare, sustainable tourism. N.B. You are the one we're looking for! Join us!
Share your Results:
Great quiz, but the English is quite bad!
Who said ‘St. Paul’s shipwreck’ was a good thing?